Anger management requires learning Assertion Skills to express yourself firmly, but in a way that others will listen to because what you say is fair and said with respect and self control, rather than your emotions controlling you, read more.
Do you know how to be truly assertive rather than aggressive?
This is a really useful anger management tool. So many people don’t really know the difference, and then putting it into practice is even harder. It is worth the effort to change a habit that so many people pick up somewhere in their growing up or adult work experiences.
Aggression seems to accepted by so many areas of our culture, however the most powerful but subtle influences are media and work environments. It is the natural reactive response to threat, fear, stress, frustration and unfortunately many stimulants [even coffee!], drugs and alcohol. Alcohol lowers our inhibitions, meaning our self control which is why it is used – to relax, chill out, be light-hearted and carefree.
Assertion requires self-restraint, looking inside and asking ourself what we are feeling, being able to notice our individual early warning body signs [e.g., muscle tension, aching in leg or other limb, jaw clenching, scratching, facial twitches].
When you can recognise your triggers, patterns and sensitive issues you can develop ways of managing these. You will then be able to put things into perspective and state clearly what you do or don’t want in a way that others will listen to and are more likely to accommodate your needs.
Avoidance and being passive are not helpful and can often cause the anger outbursts! So we often see people swing from one extreme to the other. Not good anger management at all! Plus its the source of many physical and mental ailments.
ASSERTION is the BALANCED happy medium and needs good (re)training just like our bodies need exercise.
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