Valentine’s Purpose is to remind us to Re-Romantise regularly

Valentine’s Purpose is to Cultivate Romance

Valentine’s Purpose is to create an opportunity to rekindle the Romance that brought you together to the point of deciding to commit to each other. Research has shown that within 2 years, most couples’ romantic behaviours have decreased – some say disappeared. Oops, what is holding the relationship together now?

Lost that Loving Feeling?

Imago Therapy focuses on Valentine’s Purpose which is rekindling Romance 🙂 We give you wonderful homework that often is what transforms a relationship soon after the first session! But they say it takes 66 days practice to establish a new habit – or get rid of the bad ones. We used to estimate 21 days… but hey, if it’s nice it’s got to be an improvement.  We take you back to the beginning… what was it that attracted you to each other?

Valentine's Purpose

Valentine’s Purpose

Reminiscing the Romance

It might be just the tonic that will boost your relationship again. Try sharing with each other what attracted you to the other – whilst you share a simple meal in a special place like the beach at sunset. The weather is going to be magic for that on Valentine’s Day!

 

Relationship Vision

We have a career and organisational ‘vision’ and ‘mission statement’… why not your relationship?

When we know where we stand in relation to each other and what our purpose is to each other, we feel secure and our actions or words can spring from those intentions. Here’s something else new to discuss on this romantic time together alone on Valentine’s Day 🙂

How did your Valentine’s Day go?

Valentine's Purpose

Valentine’s Purpose

Did somebody miss the opportunity?  Did you miss the mark?  Was somebody disappointed?  Imago Relationship Coaching can help you learn more about what each of you likes as a surprise or treat at this stage of life – it probably isn’t the same as 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago…. pre-children!  Book a session 🙂 Phone 0417 997 016 today.

Pre-marital Coaching will build a firm foundation for your relationship

Pre-marital Coaching is your best insurance 🙂

Pre-marital Coaching will build a firm foundation for your relationship and save a lot of heartache. Most of us don’t begin a university course, a job or buy an expensive home without doing some research and in-depth exploration. Why not do the same homework with our partner?

Imago pre-marital coaching is a gentle discovery where we learn how to care for our partner in the way that s/he needs 😊

 

Have You Chosen the Right Partner?

Many say this the day before the wedding, but seriously did you even know what you were looking for? Once you’ve become comfortable with each other, and some of the excitement has died down would be the ideal time to start doing some reputable questionnaires.

It’s important to do this instead of adding in excitement by planning the wedding, next holiday together or a party or

Pause before Marriage

Pause before Marriage

simply getting busy.

Yes, I’ve heard people describe doing all these things when they finally come to counselling because they have not been able to resolve issues.

 

How to Evaluate whether your partner is the Right One for you?

Who does she or he remind you of?

What is so familiar about him or her?

What is the quality of your relationship with the care-giver who your partner reminds of.

How confident are you in expressing your needs, opinions and emotions?

Does your partner respond in a way which encourages you or frustrates you?

There are a lot more questions to answer too.  How have you gone so far?

Are you having trouble answering the questions?

 

There is a MUCH EASIER WAY to do this….

Phone  0417 997 016 for an appointment where you will be taken through a gentle pre-marital process of discovery which will prevent problems becoming mammoth before you seek help. If you let issues become mammoth

pre-marital coaching

pre-marital coaching

problems, the tidal wave can cause so much destruction which will take so much more effort to repair… perhaps more effort than both of you might be prepared to invest.  What a pity to let a mouse become a mammoth, due to lack of preparation, research and exploration of how best to care for each other.

 

Discuss these Questions with your closest friends and family

Do you agree with their answers?

Are you finding yourself defending your partner = your choice?

Pre-marital coaching creates a safe space for you both to explore weaknesses and strengths whilst learning how to develop weaknesses into helpful opportunities to be important to our partner😊  Ph 0417 997 016 today for your session 🙂

Join us this Wednesday 31 Jan for a movie showing what could happen without Pre-marital coaching

Cheating can lead to a better relationship!

Cheating can be a catalyst for Relationship Improvement

Cheating might feel like it’s everywhere, but experts have a hard time pinpointing exactly how many people cheat. It makes sense that nobody wants to be honest and own up to the fact that they do it.

“The general belief is that if a person is lying to their partner, why wouldn’t they also lie to a researcher?” says Anita Chlipala, LMFT, a dating and relationships expert. One expert we spoke to, estimated that 25% of men and 14% of women cheat in a lifetime; another said they thought it was between 20-60% of couples in a lifetime.

So it’s hard to say at this point how much it happens. Not to mention, most studies are done on heterosexual couples, so there’s a big subset of the population that’s not even being included in those estimates.

Definition of Cheating

Cheating or Not?

Cheating or Not?

Cheating also encompasses a spectrum of behaviors, and every couple has different definitions for what cheating really entails.

Open relationships, or sex outside of an otherwise monogamous relationship with the consent of both partners, is not cheating — by definition, cheating involves lying. Chlipala suspects that the number of people who cheat might actually be growing because of these flimsy definitions.

“One of the prime reasons why people cheat is because of opportunity and circumstance,” she says. “Now, people have access to dating apps, or they can reconnect with an old flame on Facebook. Some people are surprised that emotional cheating is actually a thing.” Many cheating scenarios start innocently and spiral, she adds. One survey found that 76% of women thought it was cheating to send flirty texts, compared to 59% of men.

Here’s a way to open the subject with your partner 🙂

Invite them to accompany you to this award-winning movie which is followed by a discussion with the producer, local actor Ben Mortley and two relationship counsellors, including myself Francess Day 🙂

It’s a topic every couple should be able to have a light-hearted conversation about.

Cheating trends

What we do know is that socioeconomic background matters, and affluent men are more likely to cheat, but the reverse is true for women, says Andrea Bonior, PhD, a clinical psychologist who specializes in relationships.

Chlipala says that she thinks infidelity can be contagious, and you’re more likely to do it if people around you are. In fact, research suggests that divorce could be contagious, so it’s not far-fetched to think affairs could work the same way.

“We derive social norms from looking around, so it’s reasonable that a group of friends who are being unfaithful to spouses would be more likely to consider that,” Bonior says. Even though your infidelity threshold could change, she adds that “norms are a powerful thing,” so you have to be careful about what you consider acceptable behavior.

Breathe a sigh of Relief

So, whether or not infidelity is actually a “part of life” for everyone, it’s pretty clear that the statistics aren’t quite there to back up that claim. We might have some insight into factors that affect someone’s likelihood to cheat, but it’s definitely not true or worth it to say that cheating is the norm — because, as far as we know, it’s not.

TRE Retreat focusses on Chronic Fatigue or pain

TRE Retreat for Fibromyalgia & Chronic Fatigue Conditions

TRE Retreat Precise Address provided with registration confirmation 🙂

Program
We will discuss the 4 steps toward recovery from fatigue and why most people only ever look at the first 2. In this weekend, we will cover why this leaves people open to relapsing. We will touch on the difference between treating symptoms compared to understanding and addressing the root cause. As a group we will learn how to switch on our bodies nervous system recovery state using TRE and experience the effects.

TRE Retreat provides you with many opportunities to ask any questions about your experience, and how you can use TRE as a fatigue recovery tool.  The group will decide on the timing and amount of rest time prior to the weekend. So you will be consulted via email as to what time of day, you normally rest, so this weekend should be more relaxing than a normal weekend at home.

Relax in Tranquil Surroundings

TRE Retreat

TRE Retreat

We’ll do the cooking, and you’ll also be part of deciding the menu. I only eat non-inflammatory foods – but there will be adjustments to cater for your needs.

Just over the road, enjoy the forest and maybe even meet the locals 🙂

The workshop will be facilitated by Dr Tony Fitzgerald

(PhD in Medical Physics)

Here is Tony’s intro about himself 🙂
I have over 20 years experience in medical physics, working in this science based area supporting advances in technology and techniques in the medical field. The last 10 years I have been learning and experiencing body based work, as a massage therapist and TRE facilitator which has helped me develop more intuition and self-connection. I have suffered from Chronic Fatigue first hand for years, and know what its like to take days to get over physical exhertion. Like many others, I’ve had to quit my job and take months off work. With my training and body based experience I am so very grateful to be fully recovered from CFS, and happily entertain my 2 small children (aged 10 months and 4 years), surf, kitesurf and still have energy to run my own business and enjoy life and adventures with my gorgeous wife. I am now studying why and how people recover from chronic conditions like CFS/ME and seeking to be a leader in this area sharing the latest body based methods with people who will value it in their own recovery.

Please register via private email http://broadening-horizons.com.au/contact/

TRE Retreat EARLY BIRD REGISTRATION SPECIAL $200.

Healthcare card concessions available & so are payment plans.

If there is any chance that you might not show up on the day, please let me know on 0417 997 016 as soon as you can
because there is only room for six,
and there will be a waiting list ready to take your place if you cannot make it 🙂

Imagine having something simple, no cost, do it yourself at home to assist your quality of life ??

Your host also uses TRE to assist in managing symptoms of Fibromyalgia and found it more effective than yoga or meditation in achieving relaxation of muscles and connective tissue quickly. Daily relaxation using TRE has also helped sleep quality.

The beautiful #Healing #Retreat venue is also available if you want to stay for the weekend. Please have a look at availability and bookings through AirBnB sites. These are available any time of the year 😉https://www.airbnb.com.au/rooms/19088489? [house]
https://www.airbnb.com.au/rooms/18979593? [flat]

For more info about Tony see http://www.treperth.com.au/about-us.html

Prevention of Relationship issues is possible

Prevent Relationship issues like an Affair

Can you imagine being invited by a movie producer to take part in a discussion with the audience about Relationship issues after the screening of a film presenting the painful situation of one’s partner having an affair?

Yes, I’ve just been invited 😊

Claire Harris has found that people were more interested in discussing the Relationship issues rather than the innovative filming approaches used.

She has wisely adjusted the focus of post-film discussion and invited Relationship Counsellors to be available as audience members grapple with the right and wrongs of how to respond.

Maybe you need help immediately?  Phone Francess on 0417 997 016

How would you respond to your partner’s affair?

We all think we know what we’d say and do, however when placed in the situation, many people come to counselling tossing up conflicting feelings.

What else could you feel, you ask?

Zelos is a movie which illustrates a few different alternatives.  Come along and prepare for this potential catastrophe – it might even help prevent the occurrence of an affair.

 

 

Relationship issues

Relationship issues

Whose fault is it?

How could there be a question of whose fault it is?

The movie will show you how we might have contributed to our partner’s needs not being met within the relationship.

Have you discussed the risk?

If you are horrified at the idea of discussing such a situation, you might leave yourself vulnerable to either being the aggrieved one or the person who has the affair!  What?

 

How to Prevent an Affair & other Relationship issues

We take you through a thorough process of learning about and understanding your partner’s and your own needs.

Ph 0417 997 016 today to book your appointment.

Once couples have established the relationship, we often become complacent about our attentiveness to how our partner responds to how we behave.

When couples attend with Relationship Issues, we find that often people feel ‘taken for granted’; one’s needs are not being met, and couples are inadvertently behaving in ways opposite to what their partner needs.

Chronic Fatigue Recovery needs a holistic approach

Chronic Fatigue Recovery involves a multi-pronged approach

Chronic Fatigue Recovery doesn’t mean go back to doing what we did that triggered it off in the first place. It forces us to change our lifestyle in major radical ways. Have you noticed that when you try to resume activities that you did prior to a rest period – your body hits back with fatigue or pain?  🙁

Does this mean laying down in defeat?

Today’s TRE workshop showed us that we can recover if we are prepared to listen to our body, learn about causes and heal them, learn how manage the body’s reactions, understand the stress response and how to build resilience – we can begin a slow recovery.

Taking Charge of our Healing

Start your Recovery

Start your Recovery

At our workshop we discussed the Polyvagal Theory and here is an informative book ON SPECIAL THIS WEEKEND $7.49 🙂

It looks complicated doesn’t it?  It covers technical information but not a lot of specific ‘fix-it’ info. He mentions neuromodulation of the Vagus nerve treatment, so I’ve googled it and found a review worth reading which also gives a better picture of what it entails.

If healing fatigue conditions was simple, it wouldn’t be such a wide-spread problem. Whilst you are giving yourself the important rest that you need, why not inspire yourself by having a read.

The first step to recovery is EDUCATION about the causes where you will relate to what applies to you!  From there you can make some decisions about what you will cut out of your life, and what you will add. Scan down to an earlier blog about one of the basics to address 🙂

Relationship Support & Understanding

Like all trauma-related situations, it’s difficult for the rest of the family when trauma hits one of them. The family resists change, so when the most active member has pushed themselves too hard and ended up with a Fatigue Condition – it’s really hard for the others to pick up all the extra work – plus give empathetic support to the one who is exhausted.

Chronic Fatigue Recovery

Chronic Fatigue Recovery

Receive updates via Couples Support Facebook or

just phone 0417 997 016 today for an appointment or email

to learn how to give really empathetic support to your loved one – spouse, partner, parent or child! 

 

History repeats itself, but you can change your future

History repeats itself

History repeats itself in so many ways in our life, relationships and interactions within your marriage and extended family.

Would you like to take charge of your future?

Stop the cycle.

Be empowered to not ‘end up like a parent’ who you had promised yourself not to end up like.

Imago Relationship Coaching works with the way we recreate the familiar patterns which we didn’t quite master as we were growing up.

History repeats itself

History repeats itself

How long will it take to stop History repeats itself?

Most couples have learned the key aspects of the way their History repeats itself in about 6 sessions.  In the process, we have coached you in advanced communication skills which will carry you through future difficult situations.

While we coach you in these communication skills, we address the main issues that you struggle with in your marriage, or other family relationship.

Couples are amazed how the insight gained in these sessions transformed their lives; not only in their marriage but in all family relationships.

Tradition sometimes needs updating

It may be the way your family has always done things; but are you listening to the individual needs of your partner, spouse, child and even parents who don’t want to be treated like other parents.

The high pressure of modern lives requires flexibility and growth in the way we relate to everyone in our lives. My clients have reported how their communication skills have helped their work relationships as well as family relationships.

What about the cost?

How much is your family and future worth?

Do you want to stop painful, traumatic history repeating itself or go to a cheap session where you are allowed to just continue arguing in the way you do at home – leave feeling it was a waste of time, money and lost hope in counselling?

We guarantee that our coaching will improve your relationship if that is what you both want. Most people have checked out various Imago Specialists and find that our prices are very good value – an excellent investment in your future.  Phone 0417 997 016 today and check prices and location here.  You can email too

For more information about and upcoming online book about inter-generational trauma follow https://www.facebook.com/Alida-Gets-Life-201127097058683/

 

 

Inter-generational Trauma – start healing today

Inter-generational Trauma – Learning to stop cycles

Inter-generational Trauma can get more complicated or

We can take steps to heal it so that we don’t pass it on to our children, and grand-children.

The first step is becoming aware of what is healthy functioning, because whatever we grow up with is ‘normal’ to us and our family.

Inter-generational Trauma

Healing Inter-generational Trauma

It’s familiar.

 

How to Identify Inter-generational Trauma

It is always useful to attend personal development workshops to get ahead in our highly competitive world. Often through sharing at this deeper level, we become aware of different ‘normals’ or can rate ourselves using questionnaires. Have you discovered that you are above or below average for anxiety, obsessive behaviours or being eager to please?

 

Reading books is another great source of insight.

I am writing a book about a lady’s exploration of the impact of her grandmother’s trauma on different generations of her family. She is a grandchild who has the opportunity to observe her grandmother’s great great grandchildren – 5 generations behaviour patterns to learn from.  You might like to follow the Facebook page

 

At school or other interactions with peers, we discover that our family’s way of doing things is ‘different’;

we hear about aspects of other’s lives which we wish for.

Film and social media have also taken us into other’s worlds or experiences

 

Questioning Family Norms

Whatever it is that starts you talking to others about things which concern you; the most important thing to do is honour yourself by seeking assistance to improve your situation, feelings and future.

 

Options

  1. Individual Counselling
  2. Imago Relationship Therapy/coaching
  3. Group Support & Therapy

 

How does Relationship Therapy heal Inter-generational Trauma?

Imago Relationship Therapy training started as a balance to my trauma work; but I found it to be my most powerful tool to heal trauma!

  • Who do you spend most time with?

    Healing Relationships

    Healing Relationships

  • Whose opinions, comments and actions do you value most?

An hour’s counselling is paddling upstream if a person’s home environment or family relationships are not helping the healing process.

By empowering a person’s significant other with skills to give the support that the person needs improves the relationship. Our loved ones can suffer secondary traumatic stress from not knowing what to do. When they learn what is the best way to respond – both you and  they feel empowered and experience healing from each other!

Ph 0417 997 016 today to book an appointment

Rekindle Romance to make Christmas really special

Rekindle Romance for Christmas

Rekindle Romance involves only a few sessions of ‘Relationship Counselling’ with a very special process called Imago. We help you reconnect like you were in the early days in ways which suit your age and current tastes.

 

Have you wondered why what you did then doesn’t work now?

If you got together at a young age, the things that excited you are probably different to now, so going out on the town till all hours isn’t exciting at all now, especially if you have young children who wake you at dawn 🙂

Why is Christmas so critical?

We all hope that Christmas will be happy and exciting, perhaps like it was when we were young. The social expectations and pressure are almost inescapable. As we age, it becomes increasingly tiresome, but in our heart – we hope…

? That our partner does something special.

Rekindle Romance Christmas Trees

Rekindle Romance Christmas Trees

 

Do they know what is special to you these days?

It happens every year, often steeped in tradition – so why would we discuss what would make Christmas special for each other?

Just you asking the other in the right way can be the most special thing about this Christmas.

BE LOVED IN THE WAY THAT YOU NEED 🙂

 

How do I know?

Every year, Christmas brings the most calls for help with relationship counselling, despite spending on other things.

For 30 years, I’v heard what is special for people, and what are the turning points in the marriage or other relationship. My motto is ‘listen to the client’.

Imago processes are easy to learn and practice to maintain a healthy, growing relationship where you can learn what your partner’s needs are today, this year.

 

Update yourself on your partner’s needs for the New Year

Give yourselves the best Christmas present ever.

Come and learn these simple communication processes now.

Ph 0417 997 016 to book an appointment before Christmas

– although you can phone on that week between Christmas and New Year, like too many have to.

Why wait?

Prevention is better – than trying to patch up after things get too bad to bear.

 

Add a little romance to your life, especially Christmas and New Year.

Give each other Hope 🙂

Rekindle romance which is relevant and up to date with your partner’s current needs. Listening and affirming each other is a skill that separates unhappy couples from happy couples.

Keep in touch via Facebook 

Happy Christmas and New Year from Francess Day 🙂

PTSD & Chronic Pain or Fatigue conditions

PTSD, Chronic Pain or Fatigue are related

PTSD, Chronic Pain or Fatigue seem to be associated with each other more often than not.

Have you developed Fibromyalgia?

A search for Causes of Fibromyalgia produced a list of 9 possible causes to explore and included the following:-

Traumatic Events and Stress

The adrenal glands become fatigued when a person undergoes a traumatic event or suffers from stress. Often fibromyalgia symptoms first begin to appear following a traumatic experience in a person’s life and stress is well-known to exacerbate the symptoms.”

Looking back, I can verify that my own Fibromyalgic pain becomes severe  in exactly the pattern described above. I also found out the hard way that having a feast of crisp chip/wedges and other fried foods whilst out the other evening made the pain flare up unbelieveably. So I googled and learned things like the following about Inflammatory Foods!

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome [CFS] related to PTSD

Whilst there are more possible causes for CFS, this article about Childhood Trauma having strong links to CFS is worth reading.

Manage Inflammation & Fatigue by Diet

Your vegetable garden contains the best diet!

PTSD, Chronic Pain or Fatigue

PTSD, Chronic Pain or Fatigue Management

By “wrong diet,” we’re talking about the typical Western diet which is full of inflammation-inducing foods. Think: fried foods, refined flours and sugars, hormone- and antibiotic-laden animal products, synthetic sweeteners, and artificial food additives.

So if you’re constantly noshing on these items, your body will begin to transition into a state of chronic inflammation. This inflammatory, high-energy diet builds belly fat, reduces levels of gut-healthy probiotics, induces weight gain, causes joint pain, bloating, and fatigue, and has been connected with a host of diseases, from diabetes and obesity to heart disease and cancer. And it gets worse: Once you get belly fat, just like an active volcano, it can start spewing out dangerous substances through a condition called “leaky gut.”

PTSD, Chronic Pain or Fatigue Treatments

Dr T has a comprehensive program to offer people which centres around diet management!  Have a look around his web-pages

BUT CHECK OUT THESE WARNINGS by a Fibro/Fatigue Blogger who has FIBROMYALGIA, was a journalist and now researcher