Professional counsellors need to use domestic violence checklists

Professional counsellors need training to identify, motivate and constructively support people to leave abusive relationships Professional counsellors were only just beginning to become alert to domestic violence at the time I left my home in 2008, Sophie thought as she walked back from the supermarket with her aunt Bea’s sturdy old shopping trolley, filled with … Read more

Isolation is a form of Coercive Control

Isolation removes a person’s support network Isolation would have been a major factor for Alida’s difficulties in Canada because she was non-English speaking, Sophie thought as she joined Bea at the lunch table. ‘You have mentioned the difficulties Alida had in Canada. A lot of non-English-speaking people’s experience in Australia has led them to awful … Read more

Sister love can be the deepest possible

Sister love is a great foundation for Alida’s husband Sister love for a younger brother is something which Opa relied on to survive, Sophie thought while she and Bea cleared the lunch table. ‘Would you like me to finish translating your great-aunt Angelique’s letter?’ Bea walked to her beige leather couch and made herself comfortable. … Read more

Schema therapy helps you begin healing

Schema therapy helps you change long-term life patterns Schema therapy consists of identifying your early maladaptive schema, coping styles and modes, and systematically confronting and challenging them. Schema therapy can address a whole range of issues from eating disorders to depression. It is most commonly used for long-standing problems. The engrained nature of long-term issues can … Read more

Brother relationships with sisters are important

Brother fails to respect his sisters – Ch 35 Brother! Who needs one when he’s such a bully – even though he’s the youngest of four children, Sophie thought as she returned to sit next to Bea on the couch, after both had visited their respective toilets. Sophie had marked her great-aunt’s letter with a … Read more

Letter written in 1962 provides Evidence

Letter Reveals Evidence of Opa’s Character Letter sure shows Opa’s probable treatment of Alida, Sophie mused as she tidied up after lunch, while Bea had a little afternoon nap. She remembered how Bea had said many times over the years that Alida had said she needed to work cleaning the shops below the family apartment … Read more

Family time is important to so many people

Family time became an even more precious aspect of people’s lives this last Christmas Family time was destroyed for many as Covid restrictions wreaked havoc on planned gatherings and travel across the country, let alone around the world. Christmas and New Year can be a real pressure point for family in any year due to the … Read more

Looking through photos gives many clues

Looking through photos generates discussion Looking through photos with Bea on the second evening after the meeting at Alida’s grave with the retired nurse, Sophie’s aunt said, ‘Institutions that I visited as a social worker nearly always had a split church like this one where Alida was. Most people were always sitting doing nothing which … Read more

Distracting herself from anxiety

Distracting herself from her apprehension about the visit to Alida’s grave, Sophie absorbed the scenery outside the window during the train trip to Maastricht. This was where she felt most at home outside of her Australian birth region. Now Bea no longer lived seven kilometres from the city centre, Sophie headed to her favourite souvenir … Read more

Best things in life include good communication

Best things are Simple and Free Best things in healthy relationships include Love, Respect, Helpfulness and Good Communication which are the building blocks to true happiness. Just like good medicine from the garden they are free, although some investment of time, effort and a little financial outlay is needed at the beginning … You’ll reap … Read more